News & Improved: Giuliani Named Cybersecurity Adviser

-Check out
this first photo.
The original headline was,
“Trump Highlights
Foreign Policy Wins.”
That headline can definitely
be improved.
‘Cause if you only
looked at the photo,
the headline
could have been,
“Whole Meeting Held Up
Because No One Can
Turn on the Projector.”
[ Laughter,
cheers and applause ]
It’s harder than it looks.
What button do you press?
Check out this next photo.
The original headline was,
“Giuliani Named
Cybersecurity Advisor.”
If you only looked at the photo,
the headline could have been,
“After Four Tries,
Man No Closer To Correctly
Spelling ‘Necessary.'”
[ Cheers and applause ]
“N-e-c — two Ss?”
Next headline was, “Warren
Releases Medicare Plan.”
Headline could have been,
“Mom Tells Kids When She Says
‘Get in the House Now,’
She Means Now.”
[ Cheers and applause ]
This next headline was,
“Romney Pushes New Plan.”
Headline could have been,
“Co-workers Discuss When Boss
Threatened To Fire Everyone
at the Meeting
While His Fly
Was down.”
[ Applause ]
Hard not to laugh
at that.
Up next, this headline says,
“Bolton Asked To Testify.”
Headline could have been,
“Dad Tries on 40 Pairs
of Reading Glasses Before Going
with the First Pair He Tried.”
[ Cheers and applause ]
“These are lighter.”
Next headline was,
“Biden Campaigns in Iowa.”
Headline could have been,
“Man Fairly Certain He Parked
in Section 6F, But Doesn’t See
Antennae With Golf Ball.”
[ Cheers and applause ]
-“It’s somewhere.”
-This headline was,
“Boris Johnson Misses
Brexit Deadline.”
Headline could have been,
“Augustus Gloop Files Complaint
Against Chocolate Factory.”
[ Applause ]
-“I’m suing.”
-Next headline was, “Sessions
Considers Senate Seat.”
Headline could have been,
“Sneaky Boy Notices
Mommy Left the Treats
on the Counter,
Where He Can
Reach Them.”
[ Cheers and applause ]
-“I’m gonna have me
a snack.
It’s a Bit-O-Honey.”
-Sneaky boy.
And finally, this headline was
“Bernie Sanders Rises in Polls.”
Headline could have been,
“Last Runner Finally Reaches
Finish Line of
New York City Marathon.”
That’s all the time we have for
“News and Improved.”

21 thoughts on “News & Improved: Giuliani Named Cybersecurity Adviser

  1. Headline was: Giuliani named cybersecurity advisor

    Headline shoulda been: viewers that are weirdly obsessed with being the first to comment don’t even watch the vid
    And always say the lammmmmest shit🤣

    Holy shit dude

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