The BBC & TBW present: Mom Confessions

MOLLY (whispers re: donuts)
I got two of each so I hope there’s not one kind we all want. LAUREL
Okay, let’s get today’s Mom Support Group meeting started. I know we’re a little bit lightly attended because of the stomach bug that tore through the group – that’s why we don’t bring kids to the group. MOLLY (to herself)
That’s why. LAUREL
Alright I want to remind everybody that
this is a safe place where we can be ourselves, okay? Who wants to go first? MOLLY
Uh, I’ll go. LAUREL
Oh great. MOLLY
Okay, uh. Hi, I am mom to a nine-month-old LAUREL/MEGAN
Hi, Mom to a nine-month-old. MOLLY
And I tell my friends and family that I make all of my sons purees, but the truth is I buy the stuff at the store and I dump those jars into
my own containers so it looks homemade. MOLLY
(big exhale) That felt good! (nervous laughter) LAUREL
That was very brave, thank you. LAUREL
Alright who else wants to go? Nobody? MOLLY
I just went. LAUREL
Thank you. Let’s not be scared guys, okay? LAUREL
I’ll go. LAUREL
Hi, I’m the mother of a two-year-old. MOLLY/MEGAN
Hi, mother of a two-year-old. LAUREL
I tell people that my daughter and I go to yoga classes together, but I actually just take her to the mall once a week, I dump her into the
ball pit while I zone out. MEGAN/MOLLY
The ball pit is a safe place./Been there. LAUREL
Alright, who hasn’t gone? MEGAN
(clears throat)
I’m the mother of an
eighteen-month-old. LAUREL/MOLLY
Hi, mother of an eighteen-month-old. MEGAN
I tell all my friends that my son sleeps through the night and naps like a dream, but it’s a lie. He
actually wakes up at least twice a night and I have to drive him for his naps. LAUREL
Where do you drive him? MEGAN
Um, interesting places around the city so if he wakes up he gets a little bit of culture. LAUREL
Is that true? MEGAN
No. I mainly drive in circles around
the block and I usually end up at a drive thru. LAUREL
Do you feed your son fast food? MEGAN
(laughs) No.
(whispers) Yeah. MOLLY
I’m also the mom of a sixteen-year-old daughter, and people think that my nine-month-old was a surprise. But the truth is I planned to space them this far apart so that I would have a built-in babysitter who I didn’t have to pay.
(big sigh of relief) LAUREL
I have a seventeen-year-old son, and all of his friends are looking at colleges. And I tell people: “Yeah, we’re touring colleges, too.” But we’ve only toured one college –
and it was a virtual tour. Of a virtual college. MEGAN
I’ve got a three-nager, a
three year old, and I tell everybody that I lost all my pregnancy weight from both
my kids immediately after giving birth, but the truth is I’m wrapped in Spanx from the neck down. LAUREL
I tell people that my two-year-old daughter drew this but actually I drew it. My two-year-old daughter only draws on our walls. MOLLY
I was supposed to make something for my daughter’s bake sale at school and I
forgot, so at the last minute I put flour on my face and my clothes and I brought
a platter of unwrapped granola bars. MEGAN
I tell everybody that I have a three-nager and a toddler, but I have no kids at all! I just come to these meetings for the donuts! MOLLY/LAUREL/MEGAN
Oh, these donuts are great./ Let’s have some donuts./ Yeah! MOLLY (whispers)
Do you know there’s such a thing as a baker’s half-dozen!?

14 thoughts on “The BBC & TBW present: Mom Confessions

  1. Hi, I'm a mom of a 7yr old and I tell friends and relatives that I constantly feed my child healthy foods instead of junk foods but the truth is we sit around eating pizza and watching reruns of Spongebob!

  2. I just spat wine on the laptop over the 2 year old's drawings… the amount of birthday cards that I've had to fake scribble and pretend my toddler drew….

  3. just subscribed 2 u guys channel by way of womans day email i watched ur vid of xmas gifts u guys r awesome 4 the 2 ladies wit the younger children put ur armour on strap up. for the lady with the 17yr. girl i feel u my son made it 2 18 the nd of last yr. need i say more noo but i will. ex. sons now n his late teens he grow up n church so he knows the bible. while n their teens they will try you by provoking a negative respond outa u i use bible verses. 2 enforce no's. or why's because u cant argue whats written. if they try just. remind them that u didnt rite the word its not in ur handwriting.

  4. u guys xmas vid was posted below the womens day inbox inspirational story when her husband stunned her after filing for divorce she did something amazing by tacy saelinger saelinger under recommendations

  5. HAHAHA….I love this video. I run a parenting blog and do parenting comic strips—I'm going to promote you ladies to my circles =) Keep the laughs coming!

  6. hi the break womb I have a question do you guys go back and watch your old videos for inspiration ( I'm not a mom but I love you guys )

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