Unlikely things to hear at the Royal Variety Show | Mock The Week – BBC


OK, here we go. The first subject
is… Unlikely Things to Hear
at the Royal Variety Show. IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: Hello,
I’m Frankie Boyle! LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Our next act, Mr Memory,
couldn’t be with us this evening, he’s in
the Pizza Express in Woking. LAUGHTER They asked me not to do
any Prince Andrew jokes tonight and I said, “Sure, no sweat.” LAUGHTER And for her next trick,
The Queen will make Prince Andrew’s birthday disappear. LAUGHTER At this point in the evening
I’d just like to ask the members of the royal family
to put their rifles away as I welcome to the stage
the cast of The Lion King! LAUGHTER At 93 years old, I think
we’ll all agree it’s just good to see her out of the house
at this time of the year. Give it up for Madonna! LAUGHTER Welcome Ginger, Baby, Sporty,
Posh and the other one. Yes, it’s the royal family! LAUGHTER Unfortunately Prince Andrew
is running late, because he’s stuck in trafficking. LAUGHTER, GASPS AND APPLAUSE Well, we’re now going to end
this evening of royal entertainment in this magnificent theatre in the
traditional way – a fly through by the Red Arrows! LAUGHTER It’s now my privilege
to introduce the rock band REM. I’ve got a photograph of me
with them years ago. That’s me in the corner. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE This next act needs no introduction. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Yes, she bends, she twists,
she contorts herself, but the Queen cannot get
out of her obligation to attend this shitshow. LAUGHTER And your card is what? The four of clubs? LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I think you’re going
to enjoy this, Your Majesty. Our next act is a dog act. It uses corgis, because
they’re exactly the right shape to fit in the cannon. LAUGHTER Welcome to the stage Britain’s
premier OAP break dancing group, Hip Op! LAUGHTER No, Liz, why don’t
you shut the fuck up?! LAUGHTER

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